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HAVE SOME FUN!!!!!

interview with millionaire

Q - What is the main cause of your success ?

A - My wife

Q - Thats remarkable , what were you before you married ?

A - A billionaire

__________________________________

My wife ran off with my best friend.

I still miss him

_____________________________

( 1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady,

I'll turn into stone. A part of me was getting hard already!

(2) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME

This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name

of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...

(3) RESEARCH FINDING

Research shows men are fatter than women because

every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women

only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

(4) SERVICE

Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes

you have to be satisfied with self-service"

(5) HAPPY MAN

What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

(6) SWIMSUIT

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

(7) GOOD AMBITION

Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell

a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(8) DENTIST

Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

(9) VIRGIN

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. and wanted her tombstone to be read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " VIRGIN UNOPENED "

(10) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything

OUR COUNTRY BASED SITES

WWW.BOXONE.US

WWW.BOXONE.IN

WWW.SCOTDOM.COM

WWW.OZDOM.COM

WWW.BRITSDOM.COM

Mixed messages

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
 
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE
LIGHT GOES OUT
 
In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
 
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK
OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO
 CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.
 
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON
THE DRAINING BOARD
 
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
 
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
 
Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so) ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
 
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON
THE 1ST FLOOR
 

 
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
 
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR

- THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Old lady with talking parrot.

Tells him - I am going out.. When the coalman comes tell him I need 12 sacks.

Coal man arrives duly delivers.

On his way out he stops by the parrot says 'you are a very smart parrot aren't you

You can talk !.

Parrot replies. 'Of course I am. but I can count too, don't forget the last sack.

For those of you who missed church on Sunday, here is a recap!

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation -

What did you learn from this demonstration???

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'

That pretty much ended the service

Tell a friend.

that's it folks - no more freebies.